no thanks : 06/08/2026

...like a dog with canine sensitivity

i don't wanna feel this way anymore.

i get drawn into people too quickly, one of the only things on my mind anymore is love.

that intimate connection to another person, i miss that a lot, obviously! but at some point i gotta take a step back and calm the fuck down.

it feels like i'm constantly chasing love, and it's eating me from the inside-out. i lost a piece of me a while ago, but i'm realizing now that i don't need love to fill that gap. anything will do.

anything that i let take up that space.

i don't need to reserve space for love, doing so will only leave me hurting for too long. and whenever i do find love, it'll find it's own place to slot into.

of course i use "love" in the romantic context here, but i know love is more complicated than that. and honestly, i don't even know if what i've been craving is romantic in nature.

i guess i've just been looking for that feeling again, that feeling of a bond. now that i think about it, that doesn't necessarily have to be romantic. why does it matter what it is?

i miss the things i had, the way things were, the ways i felt. it hurts so bad everytime i think about it, even if for just a second. but i know i can't get any of it back, and i know i have to find new things to heal.

i'm getting there, it's gonna be a while until i feel at least somewhat okay again. but i'll get there, i'm not one to give up on things. i just need to straighten out my priorities a bit maybe...