cushy living found dead in her apartment : 08/25/2026

cause of death: fun police

i suppose i should write this sooner rather than later.

summer break is dead, and now rests six entire depressing feet under the soil we all walk on. which means i'm returning to school today.

i'm writing this at 1 AM because i'm anxious and can't get to sleep. i never liked school, a quick skim through my blogposts makes that very obvious. so you can easily imagine why i'm not entirely stoked about having to get sent back to hell.

last year was rough. got super depressed and failed like... i think all of my classes in the 2nd semester. took the summer to get back up on my feet and recover a smidge.

i guess maybe i've just gotten used to not having to worry so much about things. i've made so much progress with my mood and energy over the summer i just don't want to leave so soon.

i've felt better than i have in genuinely over half a year and i don't want to risk having school take all of that away from me again.

it makes me sad, i don't want to feel bad again. i never want to feel like that again. so having to take a chance and possibly start feeling terrible once i'm back to school isn't exactly the most attractive idea.

i was excited at first. i was meant to take online classes, but i found out just a few weeks ago that they in fact, aren't actually online. it's just going to school, sitting at a computer for like 3 hours to watch videos literally like 8 years older than me, and then going home. TO WATCH MORE OF THOSE VIDEOS.

are you fucking kidding me? hello? i wanted to stay home, asshole. fuck you. whatever.

so upon hearing that wretched news, i had to go with night school instead. 'cause i think i'd rather rip my tongue out of my mouth with my bare hands than go into a building to sit around and do fuckall for a few hours just to be forced to do more fuckall back at home.

unfortunately the requirement to attend the night school is that i have to... get a job.

which also unfortunately, I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT!!!

i HATE HATE HATE the idea of working ANYWHERE i don't want a job! i don't wanna be employed!

ok i'm realizing how pathetic and loser-esque that sounds but BELEIVE ME i have completely totally valid reasons for being replused by the idea of working.

capitalism... like- kinda stinks? huge dicks? and this entire system is built around the idea that people are expendable. you are not important to your employer. you're a number. a statistic. just another chump to shovel money into a fireplace, so the rich can kick their feet up and stay nice and cozy by the smoldering ashes of people's hard work.

no thank you actually, i'd rather not be seen as an asset instead of a human being? fuck off?

hell, going to school is enough bullshit for me. the american education system is complete ass. past 5th grade you're being trained to grow up and go to work. you're being taught how to be the perfect little labor slave for corporations with more money than you could ever even fathom to ever have in your life.

don't even get me started on the complete bullshit scam they have the gall to call "college". fuck that shit, genuinely.

i hate the way school makes me feel, and i hate every single goddamn thing it stands for. i hate the idea of working under the management of some stranger. i want to be myself, i wanna be me. not some pawn in a giant game of chess where the higher ranked pieces are all just racist white people yelling at each other and none of them get anywhere. not without innocent people being hurt, beaten, maimed, or even killed in the process at least.

but, shit. iunno, maybe this year will be better. but that doesn't change the way i feel about school. i don't like it. it sucks.

anyways, time to pull an all-nighter while waiting for the inevitable. i guess with school starting back up i'll probably get back onto writing blogposts more frequently.

thanks for reading, i really appreciate it.